Monday, February 8, 2010

Breakup Guide

I found this great article in this magazine I'm reading and wanted to share it with you.  I'm going to change a little bit and put it in my own words but in case you're interested in where to find the actual article, it is in the October 2008 issue of Cosmo Girl.

Breaking Up to Waking Up  
How to get over a breakup and get on with your life in exactly a week

Day One: Just let it out.  Cry your heart out.  Throw things.  Hit things. Take out your anger and sadness any way you feel like.  Don't hold anything in.  

Day Two: Vent.  Talk to anyone who will listen, and most of all your friends about it.  What you did wrong, what the other person did wrong, anything you feel like you need to say.  A lot of times after a break up, you are going to feel like crap, that you aren't worth it, that everything that goes wrong is your fault.  This is why you need to vent to people who will tell you how fantastic and special you are.  

Day Three:  Detoxify.  This could be done emotionally, physically, symbolically, whatever.  Some people feel better after a day of eating healthy foods, doing a body scrub, practicing yoga, etc... (detoxifying the body).  Either way, you need to detoxify emotionally by getting rid of (or at least out of sight, out of mind) anything that reminds you of him.  Delete him off of your phone, your facebook,  your twitter, your email, your instant messenger, and whatever other communication device you may have used.  Go through and delete any pictures you have of him off of the internet.  If you're like me, deleting a picture off your computer to a place you can never retrieve it is painful, no matter what it is of, so I recommend gathering all photos, gifts, etc.. and finding a place out of sight to store them.  I know I keep a scrapbook so if you do have one, you do not want to throw away items that could be used as memories later on in life.  However, if you think you are not strong enough to have his things in your room and not obsess over them, give them to a friend or someone you trust to keep them until you're ready.  

Day Four: Restrain yourself. I know you.  You are going to visit his Facebook a million times a day.  You are going to look over his photos and wall to walls with you and you are going to regret the break up.  You are going to sit there and wonder, what if we gave it one more try?  That couldn't hurt, right?  So prove me wrong, don't do this!  Stay away from his Facebook.  It takes 21 consecutive days to form a habit.  Therefore, beginning today, make a vow to stay away from his Facebook for 21 days.  Mark it off on your calendar, reward yourself for each week you complete it, get someone to ask you daily if you've looked to keep you accountable.  I promise, it will be worth it.  

Day Five: Reassure yourself.  This can be done in a number of ways.  However, I recommend doing it on paper, something you have to remind you of it.  Write down (or type, paint, whatever you prefer) everything that you didn't like about him, everything he did wrong, everything that annoyed you, every reason he was wrong for you.  There's obviously several reasons why you broke up and just in case you ever feel like going back, this list will reassure you that you made the right decision.  Whatever you do, DO NOT put anything good on this list.  

Day Six: Improve your well being.  How?  Help someone else.  Forget about yourself today and devote it to helping other people  (No, your ex is not included in this category, so don't even go there).  Whether you volunteer to help a large group of people or just one or two people, it will boost your mood knowing that you are helping others.  Some ideas include:  Volunteering at a nursing home, a soup kitchen, tutor school children,  help around the house, clean up trash on the side of the road, or if you want to think big, start a fundraiser, a non profit organization, or plan an event to help a cause you believe in.  

Day Seven:  What was his name again? It's finally day seven.  You've almost completely made it through the week and now there is only one more thing for you to do -- Flirt!!!  Go out with your friends (or alone if you prefer) and flirt with any cute guy you see (the waiter, the one in the park, the one at the party, the one in your art class, etc...) You don't have to be interested in going out with these guys or even communicating at all after this, just have a little fun.  The best way to get over one guy is to use that energy on other ones :)  By the end of today, you won't even remember what's his face's name! 

Also, in case you are one of those people who enjoy blasting music when you're angry/sad, here are some great ideas for songs this week: 
50 Ways To Leave Your Lover - Paul SimonAchy Breaky Heart - Billy Ray Cyrus
Almost Over You - Lila McCann
Angry all the time - Tim McGraw
Blue Moon - Marcels
Chicken Wire  - Pernice Brothers
Crazy - Patsy Cline
Don't It Make My Brown Eyes Blue - Crystal Gayle
Don't Speak - 
No Doubt
End of the Road - Boyz II MenEx-Factor - Lauryn Hill 
Ex-Girlfriend - No Doubt
Fool Hearted Memory - George Strait
From this moment on - Shania Twain
He ain't worth missing - Toby KeithHeartbreak Hotel - Elvis Presley
Heart Full of Soul - Yardbirds

How Do You Like Me Now?! - Toby KeithI Don't Care Anymore - Phil Collins /Genesis
I hope you dance - LeeAnn Womack If I Had Only Known - Reba McEntire
In the end - Linkin Park
I Will Survive - 
Gloria Gaynor
Layla - Eric Clapton 
Margaritaville - Jimmy Buffett My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion
No Air - Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown
Picture to Burn - Taylor Swift
Red High Heels - Kellie Pickler
Should've said no - Taylor Swift 
The thunder rolls - Garth Brooks
You give love a bad name - Bon Jovi

If you know of any more, suggestions are welcome :) 


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